| Merlin's List of five things |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|11:41 pm] |
Five more slightly misleading revelations of federally-funded abstinence programs
1. Liberal senators want to award slutty girls free sub for 6th abortion
2. Wearing green on Thursday makes you so totally gay
3. Douche with Dr. Pepper and your baby will have luxurious brown hair
4. When you masturbate on a Sunday, Jesus punches Keith Moon in the mouth
5. Latex condoms make your kooch smell like a pork rind: forever!
Five stories the mainstream media missed last year
1. My DSL seems to be slowing down pretty bad
2. Peaches just aren’t as good as they used to be
3. That one cashier at the Safeway is kind of a dick
4. People should wear hats more
5. Coffee is still just so great
In news that actually applies to me, I'm well still alive, still have a cold, but i think I kicked that physics test's ass! |
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| Meh |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|06:56 pm] |
Five terrible fake LiveJournal memes
1. If you had to go through my trash and pick one discarded item to represent how you felt about my butt, what would it be?
2. If I were a piece of food caught in your teeth, would you pick me out? What kind of food would I be? Would I be delicious even after I’d been trapped between your molars since lunch?
3. If the two of us were naked in a phone booth and we both had to fart really bad, how would we bring it up? Who would fart first, and would it smell like flowers?
4. If I were a tumor, where would I be on your body? How long would it be before I metastasized to your liver?
5. Please post the compliment you think I would most enjoy hearing about myself. Now, do this every morning. |
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| Friday Night Lights |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|12:28 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Buckcherry - Anything, Anything | ] |
“Well its real simple you got two more quarters and that’s it. Now most of you have been playing this game for ten years, and you've got two more quarters and after that most of you will never play this game again as long as you live. Now you all have known me for a while and for a long time now you’ve been hearing me talking about being perfect. Now I want you to understand something, to me being perfect is not about that scoreboard out there. It’s not about winning. It’s about you and your relationship to your self and your family and your friends. Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn’t let them down because you told them the truth and that truth is that you did everything that you could, there wasn’t one more thing that you could have done. Can you live in that moment as best you can with clear eyes and love in your heart, with joy in your heart, if you can do that gentlemen then you’re perfect.” |
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| The Life Aquatic |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|01:27 am] |
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Probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. Bill Murray has his moments when he acts perfectly for the role and makes the movie great. And well if you haven't seen this movie see it. And if you saw it and didn't like it, well you obviously suck at life. |
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| I miss my NHL |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|07:45 pm] |
Me: i mean i miss hockey but not enough to even wanna see her naked sober
Zach: tim, if you were arrested and sentenced to fuck rachel, i'd personally buy you 10 gallons of whatever alcohol you want, so you'd be too drunk to realize or remember, and if all goes well, you'd die.
Me: lol you're a good man
Haha Justin was in that!!!!!!!!
I miss hockey...in true stanley cup tradition....I will not shave my face until the NHL returns.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|02:11 pm] |
Brian: woah
Zach: woah
Brian: sooo
Brian: tim faces jesus?
Zach: yeah i guess so, but im not sure how many times tim can transform before he becomes perfect tim
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Me : i face jesus tho?
Zach : yeah, you're the antichrist. it says in the bible you have to face jesus during armageddon
Thus it begins. |
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